when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion
this is still my favorite tweet of all time
so basically um im horny
do you know what these all say?
"hi horny im dad"
Kim and Kanye need to chill
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
we have our world cup champion
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I laughed I cried, I researched stars, and sobbed about elephants. But nothing compares to how happy the last one made me feel.
also there were like way too many sexual jokes in teenage mutant turtles. not that there were A LOT but hearing a teenage mutant ninja turtle say “she’s so hot i can feel my shell getting tight” is not something i ever wanted to hear and now that i have i cannot unhear it
everyone is embarrassed of their fourteen year old self trust me if you’re fourteen right now you will regret whatever it is that you are doing at this moment
What, being a SuperWhoLockian, Tumblrian, and just being generally pretty good? I don’t think so.
screenshot this and look at it in 3 years